in the backseat of August.

Listening to: Angel Flight by Radney Foster

This time of year comes every twelve months or so, and maybe it's just me, but late August always brings homesickness. It's not even homesickness, really, just a longing for a time when a familiar feeling comes back.

It's not even the season that's my favorite, it's a feeling.

It's the feeling of the frosted October breeze as it whispers through the eventide. Denim jeans and fur-lined boots. Empty notebooks and leaves that scuttle across the gravel. And the way the trees sway way up in the sky.

Roasting marshmallows and late night bonfires. The feeling of home when you sit on a tailgate watching the flames reach to caress the sky. Scarves and hand-knitted hats.

It's the feeling of longing when you're standing in the heat by the road, watching the skies for the northerner that the weatherman promised that day. Watch it come in, watch the way the tall grass rolls under the first gust of wind in the distance, sailing closer and closer until the heat leaves to a crashing burst of cold.

Guitar strings and candles. It's pumpkin pie and hot chocolate with marshmallows.

It's a hayride while you and a candy apple are wrapped snugly in a quilt, nestled under the night sky.

Cold air.

Gloves and mittens.

Bright colors.

Poetry.

Sweaters.

Denim jackets.

I love this time and I love this life, but right now, sitting in the backseat of August, I'm homesick.


xo,
jessie suzanne

when life gives you lemons, make salt scrub!

I've been plotting to make this for three months, but I can't find the right jar to store it in (I know that's a crazy weird excuse, but I really care about have an obsession with jars)... It needs to look gorgeous and interesting. I got the store-bought version of this (just before I found the recipe, and just before I started the Epic Jar hunt), and the ingredients were generally the same; it was absolutely amazing!

Lemon Scrub

• 5 tablespoons sea salt
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 lemon

First mix the olive oil and sea salt together. Once the salt gets coated by the oil, the lemon won’t dissolve it. Next cut the lemon in half and squeeze over the salt + oil. Mix to your liking, then scrub away!

recipe courtesy of The Beauty Department

xo

a gazillion pictures of the coast

Listening to: God's Not Dead by Newsboys
Quote love: "People aren’t problems to be fixed. People are people, for us to walk alongside and journey with and help pick up the pieces with and, when they drop them again, to get back down and help them pick them up again. And that’s real love - without condition and without expectation." -Brooke Fraser 

I'm the luckiest girl in the world. :)

See that seaweed? I almost died when I floated into that in the water. I know I probably have issues...Whenever seaweed got near me, I started screaming while frantically climbing up my boyfriend's shoulders.

Okay, I got over the seaweed thing after about thirty minutes. My friend floated by and she grabbed some and threw it at me. After yelling, "NO," I kinda had to throw some back. Why? Because we're in Texas and we don't have snowball fights, we have seaweed fights. Bwahaha.

When Justin dropped me off at the house that night, my parents were walking outside. I didn't know how burned and tanned I was until my parents were able to see it at 11:00 at night. I stepped out of the vehicle and Papa says, "Whoa. You're really tanned...you're practically glowing."  My face still feels...crunchy. All of us were burned, but it was a lot of fun, so it's perfectly okay. I'm already plotting to go back before the summer's over...

xo,
Jessie Suzanne

jessie suzanne

It's raining outside and I have a cup of cinnamon tea; this day calls for a bucket list. 
Have a wonderful day, lovelies. 

1. My boy side
[] I love hoodies.
[] I love jeans.
[] Dogs are better than cats.
[] It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
[] Shopping is torture
[] Sad movies suck
[x] You own a car racing game.
[] You played with hot wheels cars as a kid.
[] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You owned a ds, ps2, ps3, n64, or sega.
[] You used to be obsessed with power rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on tv.
[] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[x] You hate drama.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[] Sports are fun.
[] You talk with food in your mouth.
[] You sleep with your socks on at night.

2. My girl side
[x] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner.
[] You wear the color pink.
[x] You go to your mom to talk.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[x] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like going to the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[xxxxx] You cried watching The Notebook.
[x] Dresses are a big part of your wardrobe.
[] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You don’t like the movie star wars.
[x] You are/were in gymnastics.
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
[] You smile a lot more than you should.
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[] You like putting make-up on others.
[] You like being the star of everything.

3. Appearance
[x] I am shorter than 5′5″.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[] I have green eyes
[] My eyes change color
[] I have blue eyes
[] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I’ve had/have braces.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than two piercings.
[] I have/had piercings in places besides my ears.

4. Experiences
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[x] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] I’ve been to a casino.
[] I always get mistaken for much older than I actually am.
[] I’ve been skydiving.
[] I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I’ve crashed a car.
[] I’ve been skiing.
[] I’ve been in a musical.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[] I’ve seen the northern lights.
[x] I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the rocky horror picture show.
[] I’ve eaten sushi.
[] I’ve been snowboarding.

 5. Relationships
[] I’m single.
[x] I’m in a relationship.
[] I’m engaged.
[] I’m married.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I've played with someone's emotions on purpose before.
[] I’ve gotten divorced.
[] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

 6. Honesty/Crime
[] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out.
[] I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
[] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[] I’ve run a red light.
[] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[x] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.

7. Random
[] I can sing well
[] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[] I open up to others easily.
[] My parents are divorced.
[] I watch the news.
[] I don’t kill bugs.
[] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[] I've been abused.
[x] I paid for a cell phone ring tone.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair.
[x] I care about grammar.
[] I have “?”s in my screen name.
[] I’ve copied more than 30 cd’s in a day.
[] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[] I laugh at my own jokes. 'Cause they’re funny.
[] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I’ve not turned anything in and still gotten an A in a certain class.
[xxxxx] I can’t sleep if there is a spider/cockroach in the room.
[x] I am ticklish.
[] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[] I’m good at remembering faces.
[x] I’m good at remembering names.
[] I’m good at remembering dates.
[] I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

recent stuff.

Listening to: I Know These Hills by Kevin Costner & Modern West (feat. Sara Beck) - I love the violin; it's so gorgeous.
Small announcement: I finally made it to Tumblr! If you have an account, you should so follow me... :)
Quote love: "Tis better to have loved and lost
                    Than never to have loved at all."

                                  -Alfred Tennyson

Eh, I know that's probably not the most epic title, but I can't seem to think of one more fitting. Heheh...

I'm extremely sorry for the lack of posting. I hope I will be able to post more regularly.

My grandparents are in Alaska right now, visiting my uncle and his family. My mom and I are house-sitting for a month or two, along with my cousin and her two kids. It's been pretty interesting around here lately, to say the least.

I went on a walk with a cat and a bottle of vanilla Coke earlier, just because I can't bear to stay inside on summer evenings. In Texas summers, evening or dawn is pretty much the only time to take a walk, what with the midday temperatures reaching up to 105 Fahrenheit. I strolled to the back pasture, looked to the field adjoining ours, and noted that I was being watched by nine speckled calves and another cat.

There was no wind, and it was still pretty warm, but nonetheless, the sunset was stunning, the calves munched quietly and Lobo padded silently alongside me. Is stayed out for about thirty minutes or so, then came back inside to help with making laundry detergent.

I really love living in the country. So much.

By the way, you should seriously listen to this song; it's from the soundtrack of the TV series The Hatfields & McCoys. The guitar and violin is amazing.

-Jessie Suzanne

brimming with blue.

Listening to: Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait

Lyric love: Some dreams stay with you forever, 

drag you around and bring you back to where you were. 

Some dreams keep on getting better, 

gotta keep believing if you wanna know for sure. {Even If It Breaks Your Heart by Eli Young Band}

Quote love: "Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do." -Atticus Finch {To Kill a Mockingbird}

Have you ever noticed that time covers things up? It's slow sometimes, but it does; like a rug pulled over a scrape on the new hardwood floor.

This afternoon, my dad and I were waiting in a parking lot facing the highway. An empty lot was laid out across the road, with weeds spiraling up from the ground like miniature fireworks. The sun and wind curled around the occasional cactus, waving the tall grass.

It had never been used, it seemed like. I was staring at it, zoned out in admiration of how an empty lot could still seem nice in that sunny, small town kind of way.

"You know there used to be a restaurant in that lot over there?"

Um, no...

"Yeah, it closed down years ago, when you were little."

It just made me think about how landmarks can die. I mean, I didn't know that there was a building there until someone mentioned it. And after a while, people will stop talking about it, and the kids will never hear about it. And some generations later, a scant few will know about the tiny building that sold fried chicken.

The business went south, the building was demolished. And the grass grew back, cactus prickled and grew, and the cars kept rolling by.

But there's a Dairy Queen next door, so it all evens out.

Oh, yeah. You need to listen to them. ^

I love their music. It has this raw, tragic sentiment that puts one in the mind of wood-framed houses, open windows, old riddles, and summer in the late 1800s. Nostalgia, I suppose. I listened to their music on repeat until my mind was crowded with inspiration. It was weird. I ended up drawing, which finished pretty well.

Gnarled oak trees with swings,
gravel roads,
aged fences,
a winding muddy river
&
sweltering afternoons.

Kindly ignore the grainy-ness...

I looked outside earlier and saw a sunset. There were clouds brimming with blue riding the southern wind, and they moved toward the old sun as if to tuck it in as it slept. I saw it through the window, and I walked calmly ran through the yard to the road.

Because even though it's millions of miles away, knowing you're a little bit closer makes you feel like you've got just a mile to go.

I was taking pictures with my phone but the lighting wasn't right*. So I resorted to snapping pictures of the fence post I was leaning against. I watched it until a cloud covered it momentarily. The rays sent the very last sparks into the eventide, like all the last words one would say in a voicemail if their plane fell from the sky. When the distant oaks growing on the horizon looked like they were on fire, and only a tiny speck of the sun was still here, I walked back home to the company of the bulldog.

 -Jessie Suzanne


*It's a distressing moment when you remember your camera's batteries are dead. Extraordinarily distressing.

things

Listening to: My Father's Father by The Civil Wars

This girl is graduating this Saturday! I have no idea how it came to that, but it did, apparently. I've been wanting to write for days, but I have so many things to post about. I have three other posts in drafts right now, if that's any clue as to how scatterbrained I've been as of late.

Thing 1: The Avengers. Fairly amazing movie, if you ask me. My mom and I went to see it on Monday, and I've decided something: I have to have one of those lovely, enormous, flying, armored creatures that wiggle.

Thing 2: Because I turned eighteen, my license expired, and I got it renewed on Monday. My mom and I dove into the office twenty minutes before they closed, and an officer asked what we needed assistance with. I told him I needed my driver license renewed, and he blinked at me and asked, "And how old are you?" After waiting in line for fifteen minutes, staring at the blue dot, and getting the worst picture west of the Mississippi, I was a licensed driver again.


Thing 3: Papa and I went to Yorktown earlier today. The thundering sky exploded in pieces, but no rain fell. A perfect day to go on a drive and find some back roads, if you ask me. We went and drove by buildings that looked like they were put together in the 40s. It makes you wonder, at least it did me, what happened when they weren't abandoned. When people still came to work there every morning, and their voices echoed in through the now darkened rooms. For some reason, that makes me want to write a song.


-Jessie Suzanne

the story of the false eyelashes

Listening to: Pressing Flowers by The Civil Wars

My baby puppy sleepin'... :)

Just got home from our second-to-last dress rehearsal. I love putting on performances so much. I'm still going to keep coming to see them after I graduate...which is in less than two weeks. And my birthday is in four days! I'm going to be eighteen! Bwahaha.

Random stuff that's happened:

• I got an obsession with The Civil Wars.
• I face-planted the ground because I wasn't wearing heels. 'Cause I'm just that graceful.
• I curtsied and fell down. I'm playing a queen so I was hoping to be all graceful for once...*cough*
• I saw at least twenty boys wearing makeup for said play.
• I wore false eyelashes for the first time. It was such a memorable experience...I got my eyelid glued open.

*** THE ACCOUNT OF THE FALSE EYELASHES***

Anna and I were sitting in the darkened backstage hallway waiting for our play to start. I hate how everything is so hilarious when you're supposed to be completely silent.

Anna: I have false eyelashes you can use.

Me: Really? Sure. Lets go to the ladies room where there's a mirror.

Anna: *prepares fake eyelashes* Nah, we can do it here. Hold still!

Me: *blink*

Anna: STOP BLINKING!

Me: ....*blink*

Anna: *laughs*

Me: *laughs with a strip of eyelashes adhered just under eyebrow*

Anna: Hold still! *glues eyelid open* Okay, I fixed it!

Me: ANNA!! I CAN'T CLOSE MY EYE.

Anna: They look pretty...

***

I just now peeled them off, and the whole thing looked bizarre. I'm tired now, so I'm gonna go study for the Faith Bible Institute exam that's coming up...very soon...

Jessie Suzanne