brimming with blue.

Listening to: Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait

Lyric love: Some dreams stay with you forever, 

drag you around and bring you back to where you were. 

Some dreams keep on getting better, 

gotta keep believing if you wanna know for sure. {Even If It Breaks Your Heart by Eli Young Band}

Quote love: "Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do." -Atticus Finch {To Kill a Mockingbird}

Have you ever noticed that time covers things up? It's slow sometimes, but it does; like a rug pulled over a scrape on the new hardwood floor.

This afternoon, my dad and I were waiting in a parking lot facing the highway. An empty lot was laid out across the road, with weeds spiraling up from the ground like miniature fireworks. The sun and wind curled around the occasional cactus, waving the tall grass.

It had never been used, it seemed like. I was staring at it, zoned out in admiration of how an empty lot could still seem nice in that sunny, small town kind of way.

"You know there used to be a restaurant in that lot over there?"

Um, no...

"Yeah, it closed down years ago, when you were little."

It just made me think about how landmarks can die. I mean, I didn't know that there was a building there until someone mentioned it. And after a while, people will stop talking about it, and the kids will never hear about it. And some generations later, a scant few will know about the tiny building that sold fried chicken.

The business went south, the building was demolished. And the grass grew back, cactus prickled and grew, and the cars kept rolling by.

But there's a Dairy Queen next door, so it all evens out.

Oh, yeah. You need to listen to them. ^

I love their music. It has this raw, tragic sentiment that puts one in the mind of wood-framed houses, open windows, old riddles, and summer in the late 1800s. Nostalgia, I suppose. I listened to their music on repeat until my mind was crowded with inspiration. It was weird. I ended up drawing, which finished pretty well.

Gnarled oak trees with swings,
gravel roads,
aged fences,
a winding muddy river
&
sweltering afternoons.

Kindly ignore the grainy-ness...

I looked outside earlier and saw a sunset. There were clouds brimming with blue riding the southern wind, and they moved toward the old sun as if to tuck it in as it slept. I saw it through the window, and I walked calmly ran through the yard to the road.

Because even though it's millions of miles away, knowing you're a little bit closer makes you feel like you've got just a mile to go.

I was taking pictures with my phone but the lighting wasn't right*. So I resorted to snapping pictures of the fence post I was leaning against. I watched it until a cloud covered it momentarily. The rays sent the very last sparks into the eventide, like all the last words one would say in a voicemail if their plane fell from the sky. When the distant oaks growing on the horizon looked like they were on fire, and only a tiny speck of the sun was still here, I walked back home to the company of the bulldog.

 -Jessie Suzanne


*It's a distressing moment when you remember your camera's batteries are dead. Extraordinarily distressing.

hello, saturday | a post with a weird picture at the end.

Listening to: Small Town Southern Man by Alan Jackson

Quote love: "Never miss a good chance to shut up." -Will Rogers

Reading: White by Ted Dekker

Today was the kind of day where one grabs a book, a cat, and a cup of coffee and goes outside to sit in the sun. I did that, actually. Papa's not feeling well, so we spent the morning watching old western movies. Later I went to the kitchen and concocted a loaf of banana bread. After that I went to my room, opened the window and drew in a notebook while the breeze and music made my room airborne.

Most of the cattle across the road were irritated about something, and they spent a good while voicing their irritation. So...they were the background music to the afternoon. Today was one of those days where the sky is clear, smeared, and frosty; and the sun was streaming down the trees in that dusty, South Texas kind of way. The air was cool, but the sun was warm. It made me feel bad for being inside, so I found my phone to take pictures and followed the animals around the yard yelling "STAY STILL PLEEEAASE?" Avril emerged from the woods and Daisy kind of lost it. So she was chasing the cat all around the trees.

This bench originally had the Texas flag painted on it, but most of it's been chipped off over the years. I love it even though it's falling apart and not safe to sit on. Heh. It's gonna be my project this summer, I think.

Aside from my dad not feeling well, it was a good day. How's your weekend coming?

-Jessie Suzanne

i heard that your dreams came true.

Listening to: Someone Like You by Adele (new favorite song. I like love her voice...)
Lyric love: Old friend, why are you so shy?
                  Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
                  I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited,
                  But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
                  I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
                  That for me, it isn't over.

I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now;
I heard that your dreams came true.

<3
Jessie Suzanne

and then silence.

Listening to: Longer by Dan Fogelberg

Lyric love: "Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean

                  Higher than any bird ever flew

                  Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens

                  I've been in love with you

                  Stronger than any mountain cathedral

                  Truer than any tree ever grew

                  Deeper than any forest primeval

                  I am in love with you."

Fuchsia. Red. Crimson. Burgundy. And then silence.
The crowds applauded then, a thunder, and then a fragile noise that crackled on and on. Faint whistles sounded and circled around me. The lights shone, smeared and bright and floating, broken reflections on the floor. The stage was mine. I could stay this way forever, I could. I shifted on the chair, rubbed my shoes on the wooden floor. And I felt grass beneath my feet.

And then this stage began to flake away, shavings of stage and curtains circling in the breeze until they were naught but leaves scattered at my feet. I opened my eyes, still hearing applause. And the leaves still clapped and the wind still whistled, and the sun was smeared and broken along the ground. The branches still waved. I shifted on the fallen tree, fingered the strings and kept playing until I could no longer feel my fingers.

In Christ,
Suzanne

anywhere i go, you go, my dear.

Listening to: Ding Dong Merrily On High by Roger Whittaker - I love his voice!!! *diez*

Quote love: "Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go and write it down, and either you over dramatize it or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to."

i carry your heart with me

(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go, you go, my dear)

-ee cummings

See that cat in the first picture? That's Avril. That cat reminds me of dog, I'm not joking. I was walking to the road yesterday evening and I whistled for her. She tore across the entire yard and flopped on the ground a few feet from me. She's not officially mine, mind you, but she spends more time at my house than she does wherever else she lives. She'll disappear for a week or so, then come back for three or four before she leaves again.

Random story: A few weeks ago, when the sun was setting, I was lying in the grass in my front yard while talking on the phone. The air and grass were cold, but the sun was almost level with the horizon, so the light was soft and warm like a blanket. Everything had an overly bright, smeared look, and spiderwebs traced shimmering lines in the sky. I was lying on my side, and I rolled over to see that cat flattened on the ground a few feet away, staring at me with wide gleaming eyes, hiding behind the stem of a clover. Go figure cats...

The weeks before Christmas have been wonderful, though busy. I absolutely love this time of year, with the remembrance of Jesus' birth, and seeing much of my family. I've spent the last few days wrapping and smuggling gifts, with the sound of We Three Kings and Carol of the Bells melting through the walls.

I was finally able to make a trip to the library yesterday, and I most likely drove everyone mad due to my coughing (I love winter, but winter doesn't love me. 'nuff said.) But in any case, I left with a small stack of books which have now taken up residence in my room. I'm exceedingly happy...

How has your week been? Are you going anywhere for Christmas?

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 

Isaiah 9:6 KJV

In Christ,
Suzanne

the hole in the sky.

Listening to: Come Thou Fount by Stephanie Immordino

Quote love: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." -Galileo Galilei

This life is a lovely place, but it's tiring sometimes. So tonight, clad in an old shirt and worn out jeans, I ran outside and dove on the hood of my dad's pickup truck. It's the best place to be, if one wants to see something vast. Looking at the sky, I feel like everything is like it should be. Tonight was quiet. Quiet enough so I could hear my thoughts. The needles of the pine trees rubbed themselves together, sounding like an innumerable audience applauding the Creator. Silence is loud, you know.

I think we sometimes forget what this world was. This earth is like a canvas that people have painted over. And painted, and painted, and painted. And then after a while, we got used to seeing these unnatural shades of life: roads scribbling across the countryside, and buildings that scrape the clouds off the sky. We forgot the beauty of a world untouched by people.

But then, sometimes, there's a person who has a vague memory of the unstained canvas. Or maybe they saw it by accident, and that made them remember. And they look up at the speckled sky. And they see a place so deep that no amount of paint can conceal it.

The sky is lovely. It's the place where everything looks like it used to be.

God is everywhere, but sometimes this world seems so crowded that it's hard to imagine it. If you look up at the sky though, it's easier to remember. With the blackness bleeding into dark blue. And the moon that looks like a hole in the sky. And the clouds weaving among the stars.

It's empty, and I can imagine that vast space filled with the Lord.

♥

In His love,
Suzanne

involving: fires, smoke, and a splattered sun.

Listening to: Revelation by Third Day

Quote love: "Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." 
-Peter Pan

This is Wesley. Ain't he adorable?!?

The sky is wrapped in smoke today. There's a 25,000 acre fire near Bastrop now, and the smoke is swimming in the sky. Please pray for the safety of the firefighters and the people who are evacuating.

My mom and I went to the Stauss's house earlier, which was very fun and epic. Last time, Wesley stole my camera. That night I found a zillion pictures of his teeth and eyes. o.O

We got to meet two missionaries that were staying with them, which was great! I'm so glad I've finally met them; they're wonderful. *grins hugely*

You know, if you see the sun through an ocean of smoke, it looks like someone threw an orange at the sky. Like someone threw an orange at the sky and it got caught in the smoke, staining the clouds around it. It's very true.

Justin and I went for a walk (which was really fun and hilarious!) and stared at the scenery (I was slightly obsessed with it).

The scenery consisted of hills, gravel roads winding along the countryside, smoke, violent cows, deer, more smoke, and an orange splattered sun. It was so hazy and windy and perfect. It seemed dream-like.

We would have walked to another pasture, though Justin said not to. If I'm not mistaken, the cows had predators where they originated from, and the cows attacked the predators. Or something like that...I might be remembering it wrong. O.O

On another topic, my church is having our annual World Missions Conference this Sunday! I think this is our 23rd conference. It's always such a blessing. We usually cook for the missionary families who come and bring them dinner at the Fellowship Hall, and then we have services. It starts on September 11th and lasts for four days. Praying for the safety of the missionaries and that more people will be brought to Christ. *huge smile*

On yet another topic, I'm on Pinterest! If you're on there, be sure to follow me! I just found it recently, and so far it's pretty fun!

What about you? How has your life been?

In His love,
Suzanne

autumn please come

Listening to: Moonlight Sonata

Quote love: "I don't like standard beauty. There is no beauty without strangeness." -Karl Lagerfeld

Autumn is the best time of year.

It's when the boots (with fuzz in them) and denim jackets get unburied from the closet. When the trees fling away their leaves and the sky pulls on a gray blanket. When the air smells like cinnamon and there's a pumpkin in the middle of the table. It's the time of hot chocolate with marshmallows, whirlwinds of leaves, and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. The air is sharp and a plaid scarf is worn. I like that.

because of sharp air,

strings of lights,

and apples

wearing

candy.

and books and stories

and characters lit

by candle light.

and music plays

and a war

is won.

Autumn, please come soon.

In His love,
Suzanne

and it ran down the road yelling.

Listening to: Beauty Will Rise by Steven Curtis Chapman

An unbelievable piece of information: I learned to drive a standard vehicle last year. You know how everyone says, "It's not something you can forget. It'll come back to you."

***THE REALITY OF SUZANNE RODRIGUEZ***

I forgot. And no, it didn't come back to me. In fact, it ran down the road yelling.

My dad is an amazing teacher. Amazing. I honestly can't give him enough credit. Two days ago, I drove my dad's work truck. Had someone stopped on the highway and looked inside the blue pickup, they would have seen a wide-eyed seventeen year old girl gripping the wheel, muttering in French (with the occasional shriek). They also would have seen a relaxed man sitting in the passenger seat with a calm, slightly amused expression on his face, as if he were watching an interesting movie. 

While I tripped, climbed, and walked on the fence between sanity and hysteria, he calmly gave instructions. He's the best, guys. 

In the driveway back at home, I slowly emerged from the truck. My hair was pointing at something in the sky, my makeup-less face was flushed and damp (said truck lacks air conditioning, and the afternoons are still in the hundreds). I had a Dr. Pepper and gummi worms. Comfort food.

That night I was sitting on the hood of the truck talking to Justin on the phone and looking at the stars. They looked like little shards of glass that had been thrown at the sky and tied there. One of them fell, though, and went shooting across the dark speckled ocean.

"Maybe someone cut the string holding it up."

-Justin

The stars are so pretty; have you seen them lately?

In His love,

Suzanne

summer's almost gone...

Listening to: You Are More by Tenth Avenue North

Today was very, very uneventful. My dad and I went to a convenience store, and it wasn't until I was doing sixty on the shimmering highway that I realized I shouldn't be driving (I'm still on medication from said surgery). So I turned off the highway and cruised along a back road. The Texas kind of back road. The kind of road that's lined with barbed wire fences, winds through the fields, and is splattered with potholes. And a crazy number of cattle guards. Oh my goodness, we literally can't forget the cattle guards. If you happen to forget about them, drive over one and you'll be reminded. Cattle should just stay put.

Cattle guards or not, we drove along in hazy sunlight with the windows down and listened to a man on the radio remind us of the heat index (113 Fahrenheit).

It's hot.

A tumbleweed rolled across the road, which added to the effect.

The content of my awesome Sunday:

A really amazing friend of mine, Justin, came home after being in Alaska on a mission trip for six weeks. Praise the Lord for his opportunity to serve Him, and that he's back safely! :)

We took the elective's exam. I'm confident that I did well. That makes me doubtful. It was really easy, so either I did great or I just bombed the whole thing. The last time I was confident I would get an A, I got a B. And the questions I answered were: True, true, true, true, true, true, true, false, true, true, true. GAH!!

I spent the time between services hanging out with two families from church; that was fun and such a blessing! That was a pretty wonderful day. :)

In His love and light,
Suzanne

say it with the accent.

Announcement: I'm working a on vlog, so that should be up in the next few days.

Listening to: Come Thou Fount by Stephanie Immordino

1) Cactus. Texans love us some cactus! *sarcasm*

2) It's heart shaped! See that?! 

3) If you don't say "barbed wire" with a Texas accent, 

then you ain't said it right. 

Bob wahr.

It's so hot here. It's in the 100s, peoples. This evening, I plan to set up a photoshoot of a glass of iced tea. I need new photography material; yesterday evening I was stalking the chickens around the yard. Apparently they're camera shy, because they fled to the woods.

Some friends and I went to see Captain America in the theaters. By the way, it's kind of creepy to see a boy in the previews who looks identical to your cousin. That surprised me...I was eating popcorn and almost choked. Anyways. Most of the movie was very good, but the ending was so weird. Marvel really failed...at least on the last scene.

How has your week been?

And remember: bob wahr.

In His love,
Suzanne

of drawing, college courses, and the nearing of summer

Listening to: Swan Song by Franz Schubert

Quote love: "Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather." -John Ruskin

You know what? I have nothing to do. Well, I have things to do (like the dishes), but I have nothing to study for. No deadlines. No speeches or essays to write. No projects. No reason to pull an all-nighter to study. Nothing. Summer break is here. I can't get over how that feels. I got used to the voice in the back of my mind: You need to study more; you need to write that speech; you'll never catch up, you're too far behind; how much time do you have left? have you turned in that paper yet? Now summer's here. Quiet. It's like I was spinning on a swing, jumped off, and now I can't get used to the fact that I'm not spinning anymore. Have you ever felt that way?

I've started doodling, hence the first picture. Supposedly it's a kind of therapy (it is kind of calming), but it's mostly just plain fun.

My church is continuing to have the satellite college course by Faith Bible Institute through the summer. Scientific and Biblical Creationism Elective. *screams* I seriously can't wait for that to start. If I remember correctly, fourteen people (including my family and me) are taking it. *sighs happily* God is so amazing!

What about you? What plans do you have for your summer?

xoxox,

Suzanne

...and the library didn't have it.

Listening to: How Many Kings by Downhere 

Quote love: "Sentence first, verdict afterwards." -Lewis Carroll

I have some things to talk about. So, here goes.

Thing one: Has anyone here read The Great and Terrible Quest by Margaret Lovett? Because people have been bragging, and bragging, and bragging about it, and it's driving me nuts because...our library doesn't carry it. I should know. I tore apart the library catalog. With my bare hands. {Okay, not really. I just looked very, very hard}.

Thing two: I got a letter from my sweet pen-pal and nearly died of happiness. :) Also, I think England's stamps are so amazing! I'm so used to seeing the American stamps {with the Liberty Bell on them}.

What's been up with you? Any epic books that need reading? :)

In His love and light, 

Jessie Suzanne

before the sun gleamed

Last night the temperature dropped into the low 20s and it began to sleet, so there was ice everywhere this morning. I love pictures of ice! Muahahaha...

Which one is your favorite? :)

In His love and light,

Jessie Suzanne

365 Project: to be, or not to be? That is the question.

Is anyone else considering doing the 365 Project? I was just thinking that the New Year would be the neatest time to start. I tried it last year, on my birthday, and after a month I gave up. At first I was SO excited about the 365 Project. Then it became the "365 If-I-Have-Time Project." Then it morphed into the "365 Whenever-I-Remember Project." After a while, it was nearly forgotten, being the "365 Oh-my-goodness-I-knew-I-was-supposed-to-do-something-today-but-I-cannot-remember-what-it-was Project". It didn't last for me, though I'm madly in love with the idea. :]

Anyways, yesterday I trekked to our backyard and snapped some shots of grass and pine cones.

I have absolutely no idea what kind of grass this is, but it looked so soft and fuzzy that I took a picture.

I have this weird fascination with pine cones. I think it's so neat that God would make something of their...*stares at pine cone and tries to think of right word*...appearance. I mean, isn't that so cool?? Our God is an awesome God! :)

I got another picture of some pine trees, and I'm considering making it my new header. By the way, do you think I should make a button for my blog? :]

In His love and light, 

Jessie S.

Epic happenings of this week:

I found the most beautiful paintings EVER. And I mean ever! It's of the Eiffel Tower, which we know is in France. I love France. It was resting in an art gallery in Houston, and I took a picture (I'm not sure if that's allowed...) because I wanted to brag about it on here. I honestly want to buy it one day; I wish I knew who painted it. Okay, I shall stop ranting now. But surely you have to agree! See how beautiful it is? See?!

 We went to Houston, Texas. Before we went home, we decided to pay a visit to the seventh largest shopping mall in the nation: The Galleria. I love it. I'm not a huge fan of shopping, but this is three million square feet of pure awesomeness. We're going back to Houston again in two weeks, and again in January. I have promises to return to one amazing bookstore. Speaking of stores which sell books...

My mom and I have a new favorite bookstore. Give me a chair, coffee, and a book, and I'm happy for hours. I come from a family that reads dictionaries in the manner that one would read a novel. Really. So, everyone walked in and dispersed among the shelves of Borders. My mom found three books, which she bought, and I scavenged for a 2011 planner. :)

Pascal. The chameleon from Tangled, which was, by the by, amazing! But Pascal was better. He cannot speak, yet he has such an adorable personality! I mean, who can see that face and not think he's adorable?!

In His love and light,

Jessie

Nativity Scenes & Christmas Ornaments

My family and I set up our Christmas tree today, and I was in charge of the nativity scene. OH YEAH! Camera time. *grins madly* Our nativity scene is old and worn well loved. We’ve had it since I was really, really young. When I was little, I would line up the animals in an unorganized assembly line. This scene came with four squares of packed hay, generally the size of an ice cube. I would sit and watch my cat (who was then a kitten) as she quietly sank her teeth into a tiny bale of hay, before tearing off to hide among the gifts under the tree. That is how, over the years, the hay bales have disappeared into oblivion. :)

In His love and light,
Jessie Suzanne