My sixteenth year

Listening to: I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe

Quote love: "If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn and send me away with the words of a love song."

I'm seventeen. As of May 4th.

For some reason it seems that years fly by, and I'm left standing at the end of it with a puzzled expression; but this year was such a long year. And for some other reason people assume that if a year is long, it must have been monotonous and boring.

No. Quite the contrary, I might add.

What did I do in my sweetest sixteenth year?

I laughed so hard I gave myself an asthma attack.

I made some amazing, wonderful friends.

I met a sweet friend of mine at the library and got to tell her "I love you," for the last time, two days before the Lord let her go home.

I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and cried harder than I've ever cried before, understanding for the first time what it means for your heart to ache. If you spend your whole life knowing someone, loving them, giving them a part of your life and heart, then when they die it feels like the piece of your heart you gave to them died when they did.

"Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us..." Psalm 62:8

I read. Quite often. I gained an obsession with J.R.R. Tolkien and Ted Dekker's books (again), which I read through the summer. I also read much of the work of Edgar Allan Poe, who penned Annabel Lee.

Anna and I went to the swings at 10:00 at night. I swung so high I felt as if I could let go and be sitting among the stars. That's the place to be, you know.

My best friend and I went on a walk. In the evening sun which filtered through the towering trees, we line danced. Yes. We line danced with two people, 'cause we are just that amazing. As we trampled through the grass and burrs, I watched the sunlight shift on the ground. Have you ever noticed that sunlight, when seen on the ground from beneath trees, looks a lot like lace? I love that.

I passed out for the first time.

My drama group (Artistic Drama Development) rocked our performances of Mission: Possible. Yours truly played U (like a code name), my cousin played N, and my other cousin played James Blond. The entire process consisted of glasses with radio transmitters, drawing dragon scales on my script, stuffing our faces with candy backstage, vain attempts to be taught how to get dipped in a waltz (also backstage), several guns and other glorious weapons of mass destruction, wearing three layers of clothes, and the happiness of finding my parents and grandmother in the audience. Heh. Run-on sentence?

Went for a walk with seven or eight people and played sardines in the woods. We got eaten by a rose hedge, got tangled in poison sumac (or poison oak...or poison ivy...it was just poisonous), watched someone get slammed in the back with a soggy tennis ball, and watched a fairly violent game of basketball from under a tree. Good times.

I opened the door of the dressing room at Drama and found myself staring down the barrel of a gun*. That's definitely a first.

I looked out my window just now and noticed a wonderfully indescribable sunset. I love sunsets. If the colours of sunsets described something, I think they would make an attempt to describe how strong and beautiful our God is.

This was such a long year. But it wasn't horrible, sad, or boring. It was wonderful. If I were to mention all the memorable events (fortunate and unfortunate), this post would be much, much longer. I hope all my coming years are as lengthy as this one was, because maybe then I'll remember to enjoy them as much as I did this one. This present time passes so fast, and it doesn't bother to wave goodbye. I want to remember to praise the Lord's name, even when things aren't going the way I think they should, and enjoy the time He gave me. I'm looking forward to my seventeenth year.

xoxoxo, 

Suzanne

*Airsoft gun which was a prop for said play.

Stylish Blogger Award!

Listening to: The Lord of the Rings soundtrack

Quote love: "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the world go round!" -Alice in Wonderland

I was awarded the Stylish Blogger award by Bella Skye! Thank youuu!

Here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.
2. Write seven things about yourself.
3. Pass on to seven other bloggers.
4. Tell the seven awardees of their award!

So, here are seven things about moi:

1. I love the Renaissance era. ♥
2. My hair is freakishly curly. I straighten my hair and it won't hold. I curl my straight eyelashes, and they won't hold a curl. Ironic, no?
3. The word 'Fail' is used too frequently (in other words: it's severely overrated). So, my friend and I came up with a term that had the same meaning, but in a less popular form.                                            Example: *person drops object* Me: "You have met with disaster."
4. I dislike Kindle. I refuse to conform. I will hold the book, I will smell the book, I will read the book, I will get lost in the book, I will cry over the book, I will put the book in my bag; I refuse to entertain the notion of a book in digital format... o.O (though my entire view on this notion would probably change the minute I held one...)
5. I've decided on the colours for my (God willing) future wedding.
6. I really like Edgar Allan Poe and his style of writing. Annabel Lee is the most romantic poem ever written (at least from what I've read). The Tell-Tale Heart is my second favorite.
7. I've always wanted to meet a Cheshire cat.
   

Now, I'm picking seven bloggers...

Georgianna Penn from Before My Penn Has Gleaned

Jana-Beth from Sunshine, Songbirds, and Blue Skies

Gretchen from A Pocket Peridot

Lexi from Alexis Nicole Photography

 Rachel from DillyBelle Media

Katie from Whisperings of the Pen

Rebekah from Every Day Sunsets

xoxox,

Suzanne

Liquid Sunshine.

Listening to: Forgiven by Sanctus Real

Lyric love: "We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, and my heart turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us." How He Loves by David Crowder Band

Olivia is having a giveaway/blog-hop. Were you aware of that?! Now you've been informed! She's giving away some pretty awesome prizes, and that means you should go and enter!

Favorite season, and why?

Autumn. The cool air, the cloudy days, the rainbow-ish leaves. I look around and see everything dying, and that reminds me just how alive I am.

How would you describe your personal style?

Renaissancey. Breezy. Rainy. Blue/grey. Flowery.

What's one weird thing you can do? (The stranger the better!)

I can kill a cactus. Yeah. That takes skill. I forget to water plants, as you can tell...

Rain or shine?

Rain! I love waking up in the morning and the first thing I hear is rain pounding on the roof.

Confession time... what's a flaw of yours?

I'm indecisive.

Favorite music?

Classical, contemporary Christian, the soundtrack from The Lord of the Rings, and Franz Schubert. *goes and puts on soundtrack* :)

Have you ever made a decision you instantly regretted? What was it?

I can't think of anything I've regretted instantly. Perhaps later, but not instantly.

You've just won an unlimited lifetime supply of... what?

MONEY. Okay, I'll be serious: I don't need to be rich as far as money goes. An unlimited lifetime supply of love.

If you were an animal, what would you be?

A cat. Agile, graceful, quiet, sleepy, and pretty. I luv cats. ♥

If you knew you were going to die in a year, what would you do with your time?

I would write letters to all my friends and family. They couldn't see them until I was gone, but in those letters I would tell them everything I couldn't say in person.

Classical music: love it or hate it?

LOVE!!!!

Phobias?

Drowning or suffocating. And spiders. Can't forget spiders. *eye twitch*

Hop on a plane and go live somewhere for a year... where is it, and why?

Normandy, France. There's an old picture of the French side of my family. From what I've heard, they look so depressed you'd think the world was gonna end the next day. Handlebar mustaches.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Introvert. Well, I'm not sure. The people who don't know me think I'm quiet, but the people who do know me wish I was... 

Now that you've suffered through my blathering and raving, go over to Horsefeathers! ;)

xoxoxox,

Suzanne

Hush now. I just had an idea...

Listening to: My Own Little World by Matthew West

Quote love: "She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)." -Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Who here loves inspiration?! The kind where you hear a word, a phrase, a picture, a song, and a story tells itself.

Sometimes you get a glimpse into the deepest part of your mind: the part that's like a room. The room where you know inspiration is. You can run endlessly through the passages and stairwells and rooms of your mind, but never find it. Most of the time, it seems, you can only find this room of inspiration by accident, if you're lost, or completely unsuspecting.

On the occasion you do find it, you breathlessly run in and see a vast room that is divided by endless rows of books. Shelves which are crammed with literature line the walls, and unidentifiable music plays distantly. You're not allowed to see the titles nor recognize the music. Not yet. Perhaps later. There's an open book on the floor in front of you. On the page is a word, a phrase, a picture, a song, or something only you can see. When you see it, a evanescent understanding floods your mind. It's a wonderful, beautiful, intricate, maddening idea.

Find a way to make yourself remember what was on that page, because you might never see it again.

It seems you're only allowed in this magnificent room for a few seconds before you're pushed out, the door slamming in your face, and the open book on the other side of a locked door. I hope you remembered everything you could.

Inspiration for this post: a photograph of a winding staircase.

What about you? What last gave you inspiration?

In His love and light, 

Suzanne

and the laughter slowly changed, so that all I heard was music

Listening to: Swan Song by Franz Schubert

Quote love: "The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul." -Johann Sebastian Bach

The music is soft in the distance and rain is falling from the sky tonight. 

When does a normal sound turn into music?

I remember the time when images danced in my mind and I heard the fall of rain. I looked up from a book to see raindrops glistening in the sunlight, streaming like tears across the windowpane.

I remember sitting on the playground swings at eleven o'clock at night with my amazing friend. The lights shimmered, and the stars looked as if we could take a handful if we reached. A conversation began with, "Do you remember that time when..." and halted in the middle as we laughed.

I remember when I stood along the edge of the ocean, listening to crashing waves, looking at shells and the shifting clouds, and scanning the horizon where the sky embraces the sea. I remember when my mind seemed to collapse on itself when I tried to imagine the greatness of our God.

I remember the times just after the rain, when the hazy sunlight illuminates the glistening grass, when the leaves gently slip to the ground, and the whisper as the breeze stirs the trees.

There was the falling rain, crashing waves, rippling laughter, whispering wind, and all I heard was music.

I don't think music has to consist of a musical instrument to be music.

 So step back and watch the lights, listen to the laughter, and hear the music which can't be heard. Take pictures in your mind, write them down as a reminder, and thank the Lord you were blessed to see such times. Because, after all, He's the reason we were there to enjoy them. :)

In His love and light, 
Suzanne

what brings you joy?

Listening to: Well being by PartyLite (Oh. My. Goodness. It's so beautiful...)

Quote love: "If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalog." -Sears Roebuck catalog

What is joy to you?

When I look in the mailbox and find a hand-written letter with my name on it.

When I can sit and listen to the grass whisper.

When we remember that our God is great, magnificent, loving, and almighty.

When I get to pummel my family with random observations, comments, and notes. :)

Those times bring me joy.

What about you? What brings you joy?

In His love and light, 

Jessie Suzanne

folded and saved

Listening to: You Never Let Go by Matt Redman

Quote love: "This is not a letter but my arms around you for a brief moment." -Katherine Mansfield

Finished reading this post.

It made me think.

Have I mentioned how much I love letters?! Writing them and receiving them. I write letters to my friend just to tell her how awesome she is. It's remarkable how some of your feelings can be entangled with the swirl of the letters as you lead them across the paper. It's remarkable how something so encumbered with worth can be folded and saved.

I most definitely wouldn't say hand-written letters are better than face-to-face conversations, but I wouldn't call them inferior.
:)

In His love and light,
Suzanne

...and the library didn't have it.

Listening to: How Many Kings by Downhere 

Quote love: "Sentence first, verdict afterwards." -Lewis Carroll

I have some things to talk about. So, here goes.

Thing one: Has anyone here read The Great and Terrible Quest by Margaret Lovett? Because people have been bragging, and bragging, and bragging about it, and it's driving me nuts because...our library doesn't carry it. I should know. I tore apart the library catalog. With my bare hands. {Okay, not really. I just looked very, very hard}.

Thing two: I got a letter from my sweet pen-pal and nearly died of happiness. :) Also, I think England's stamps are so amazing! I'm so used to seeing the American stamps {with the Liberty Bell on them}.

What's been up with you? Any epic books that need reading? :)

In His love and light, 

Jessie Suzanne