and then silence.

Listening to: Longer by Dan Fogelberg

Lyric love: "Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean

                  Higher than any bird ever flew

                  Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens

                  I've been in love with you

                  Stronger than any mountain cathedral

                  Truer than any tree ever grew

                  Deeper than any forest primeval

                  I am in love with you."

Fuchsia. Red. Crimson. Burgundy. And then silence.
The crowds applauded then, a thunder, and then a fragile noise that crackled on and on. Faint whistles sounded and circled around me. The lights shone, smeared and bright and floating, broken reflections on the floor. The stage was mine. I could stay this way forever, I could. I shifted on the chair, rubbed my shoes on the wooden floor. And I felt grass beneath my feet.

And then this stage began to flake away, shavings of stage and curtains circling in the breeze until they were naught but leaves scattered at my feet. I opened my eyes, still hearing applause. And the leaves still clapped and the wind still whistled, and the sun was smeared and broken along the ground. The branches still waved. I shifted on the fallen tree, fingered the strings and kept playing until I could no longer feel my fingers.

In Christ,
Suzanne

anywhere i go, you go, my dear.

Listening to: Ding Dong Merrily On High by Roger Whittaker - I love his voice!!! *diez*

Quote love: "Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go and write it down, and either you over dramatize it or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to."

i carry your heart with me

(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go, you go, my dear)

-ee cummings

See that cat in the first picture? That's Avril. That cat reminds me of dog, I'm not joking. I was walking to the road yesterday evening and I whistled for her. She tore across the entire yard and flopped on the ground a few feet from me. She's not officially mine, mind you, but she spends more time at my house than she does wherever else she lives. She'll disappear for a week or so, then come back for three or four before she leaves again.

Random story: A few weeks ago, when the sun was setting, I was lying in the grass in my front yard while talking on the phone. The air and grass were cold, but the sun was almost level with the horizon, so the light was soft and warm like a blanket. Everything had an overly bright, smeared look, and spiderwebs traced shimmering lines in the sky. I was lying on my side, and I rolled over to see that cat flattened on the ground a few feet away, staring at me with wide gleaming eyes, hiding behind the stem of a clover. Go figure cats...

The weeks before Christmas have been wonderful, though busy. I absolutely love this time of year, with the remembrance of Jesus' birth, and seeing much of my family. I've spent the last few days wrapping and smuggling gifts, with the sound of We Three Kings and Carol of the Bells melting through the walls.

I was finally able to make a trip to the library yesterday, and I most likely drove everyone mad due to my coughing (I love winter, but winter doesn't love me. 'nuff said.) But in any case, I left with a small stack of books which have now taken up residence in my room. I'm exceedingly happy...

How has your week been? Are you going anywhere for Christmas?

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 

Isaiah 9:6 KJV

In Christ,
Suzanne

the child born in May

Listening to: American Honey by Lady Antebellum

Reading: Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe

I was sitting outside today
and I held the day in my hand,
remembering it.
The afternoon was warm,
but chilly around the edges.
This is the weather I live for. I live for winter.
I love it.

I'll get a book and haul a blanket outside.
I'll sit by a tree and read Edgar Allan Poe
to the frozen sky.
 "A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling my beautiful Annabel Lee."
And it would pull it's gray cardigan
closer,
and sigh some more.

 

And I'll look up and whisper it something.

"Neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee."
 

 

love,
the child born in May

when i finally make it home

Listening to: Find My Way Back Home by Priscilla Ahn

I said I'd keep up, and now it seems like there's too much to write.

***THE GOOD NEWS IN THE LIFE OF SUZANNE***

I got a car!! It's a red Ford Explorer. 

 ***THE BAD NEWS IN THE LIFE OF SAID GIRL***

 I hit a buck on the way home from work and totaled my parents' car.

It wasn't on the side of the road or in the ditches; I don't know where it came from. Suddenly it was in front of me and the front of the car seemed to explode. The air bags didn't deploy; they should have, but praise the Lord they didn't. I pulled over and got out through the passenger door (the drivers side door wouldn't open), and checked out the car with a flashlight. I freaked out and got back in for about five minutes, then called my parents.

My parents showed up about ten minutes later. My dad glanced at the car, told me I did well not to swerve, then shook his head and mused, "Well, Jess, I knew you didn't like the drive to work, but man..." 

I called Justin and talked to him until the police came. We towed it home since it wouldn't run, and since I can't go to work for a while (my parents are looking for a new car) I'm staying home for now. I'm so thankful for my new ride. *grins hugely*

Odd, it is, how much I appreciate the time I have at home now. 

I painted something.

I found a notebook. 

I have this odd fascination with empty notebooks. I have this urge to fill them with words, but I never know what to write. This one has my mind in it, since I'm writing down practically every thought that comes to me.

I spent most of yesterday looking through old pictures. I found a picture of my dad walking along the beach when he and my mom were on their honeymoon.

1988.

It's neat to see a time when I wasn't here yet.

How have you guys been?

-Suzanne

{title of post}

Listening to: Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphy

I’ve been so busy lately, pleeease forgive my temporary abandonment of this ‘ere blog. My mom got a job recently, and I’ve started babysitting.

I'm now a licensed driver in the state of Texas. *evil laughter* I got my license on October 3rd. I’ve never been so nervous in my life. My dad and I were sitting on the bench outside the office, and I felt like I was on death row. The good thing is I got to take the test it in a really small town, so the traffic wasn’t bad. I was really worried about the parallel parking, even though my dad showed me how (and I did it perfectly six consecutive times the day before). Praise the Lord for His guiding me, because I did it PERFECTLY on the test. *shrieks happily* Everything happened so fast. And then suddenly I was getting my picture taken. SO, after that, my dad and I bought ice cream to celebrate. *grins madly*

I started working the next day, which meant getting up at an ungodly hour of the morning. I’m a morning person. Just not at 5:00 o’clock. Heh…

My mom is in training for Sprint, and I won’t be able to see her when her normal schedule starts. I’ll leave for work while she’s still sleeping, and when I get home she’ll have left for work; and when she gets home I’ll be sleeping already. So I’ll be able to see her on Sundays, I believe.

I’ve been working on this post for about a week, adding a few sentences every time I wasn’t busy. I’ll try to post more regularly, peeps. :)

In His love,
Suzanne

the hole in the sky.

Listening to: Come Thou Fount by Stephanie Immordino

Quote love: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." -Galileo Galilei

This life is a lovely place, but it's tiring sometimes. So tonight, clad in an old shirt and worn out jeans, I ran outside and dove on the hood of my dad's pickup truck. It's the best place to be, if one wants to see something vast. Looking at the sky, I feel like everything is like it should be. Tonight was quiet. Quiet enough so I could hear my thoughts. The needles of the pine trees rubbed themselves together, sounding like an innumerable audience applauding the Creator. Silence is loud, you know.

I think we sometimes forget what this world was. This earth is like a canvas that people have painted over. And painted, and painted, and painted. And then after a while, we got used to seeing these unnatural shades of life: roads scribbling across the countryside, and buildings that scrape the clouds off the sky. We forgot the beauty of a world untouched by people.

But then, sometimes, there's a person who has a vague memory of the unstained canvas. Or maybe they saw it by accident, and that made them remember. And they look up at the speckled sky. And they see a place so deep that no amount of paint can conceal it.

The sky is lovely. It's the place where everything looks like it used to be.

God is everywhere, but sometimes this world seems so crowded that it's hard to imagine it. If you look up at the sky though, it's easier to remember. With the blackness bleeding into dark blue. And the moon that looks like a hole in the sky. And the clouds weaving among the stars.

It's empty, and I can imagine that vast space filled with the Lord.

♥

In His love,
Suzanne

golden, cracked, aged.

Listening to: my rambling, chaotic thoughts.

Lyric love: "But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them." -Jim Croce

I looked up at the pecan trees that towered over us. The sunlight filtered through the leaves and printed shadows on the ground. As the wind shifted, the shadows did too, so there was sunshine lace spread on the ground. I'll always love that.

Have you ever felt that a place was a part of your family? My dad and I wandered among the trees, crunching through the yellowed leaves. Beyond the road was a sprawling old field, and around this time last year, we had sat in the middle of it. We had talked of Shakespeare, guitar, and pondered life.

"If these trees could talk, I'm sure they'd have some remarkable stories to tell. They've seen so much in this life."

Riverside Park. Some of my earliest memories are there. Some of the best ones. My dad and I had come into Victoria and decided to go to the park, which was hilariously fun. We weaved a trail through the pecans and leaves, and we found a stick. When one finds a stick of this size, it inspires one to play baseball. We didn't have a baseball with us, so Papa proceeded to throw pecans in the air before slamming them with the stick. This caused much laughter and the smugly repeated phrase, "Watch and learn."

And later I was sitting on the tailgate of my dad's truck, and we were talking of something that happened years ago. I'm watching the leaves fall, tiny and brown and shriveled and golden. Golden.

And I had a thought.

Brown and cracked and aged, they fall from the trees. But if sunlight arrests them in its soft embrace, then they're not brown and cracked and aged anymore. They're glowing warmly with a newfound fire, sifting to the ground to be nestled among ember-like leaves.

The leaves won't be here forever, but they are here, and they're breathtaking as they glide calmly through the air. Fallen, but still so beautiful.

Sunlight does that.

The Lord does that.

He takes the broken and fallen and He makes them whole. He makes them beautiful, so they glow with His love and joy.

Psalms 23:3  

"He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

In His love,
Suzanne

involving: fires, smoke, and a splattered sun.

Listening to: Revelation by Third Day

Quote love: "Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." 
-Peter Pan

This is Wesley. Ain't he adorable?!?

The sky is wrapped in smoke today. There's a 25,000 acre fire near Bastrop now, and the smoke is swimming in the sky. Please pray for the safety of the firefighters and the people who are evacuating.

My mom and I went to the Stauss's house earlier, which was very fun and epic. Last time, Wesley stole my camera. That night I found a zillion pictures of his teeth and eyes. o.O

We got to meet two missionaries that were staying with them, which was great! I'm so glad I've finally met them; they're wonderful. *grins hugely*

You know, if you see the sun through an ocean of smoke, it looks like someone threw an orange at the sky. Like someone threw an orange at the sky and it got caught in the smoke, staining the clouds around it. It's very true.

Justin and I went for a walk (which was really fun and hilarious!) and stared at the scenery (I was slightly obsessed with it).

The scenery consisted of hills, gravel roads winding along the countryside, smoke, violent cows, deer, more smoke, and an orange splattered sun. It was so hazy and windy and perfect. It seemed dream-like.

We would have walked to another pasture, though Justin said not to. If I'm not mistaken, the cows had predators where they originated from, and the cows attacked the predators. Or something like that...I might be remembering it wrong. O.O

On another topic, my church is having our annual World Missions Conference this Sunday! I think this is our 23rd conference. It's always such a blessing. We usually cook for the missionary families who come and bring them dinner at the Fellowship Hall, and then we have services. It starts on September 11th and lasts for four days. Praying for the safety of the missionaries and that more people will be brought to Christ. *huge smile*

On yet another topic, I'm on Pinterest! If you're on there, be sure to follow me! I just found it recently, and so far it's pretty fun!

What about you? How has your life been?

In His love,
Suzanne