things

Listening to: My Father's Father by The Civil Wars

This girl is graduating this Saturday! I have no idea how it came to that, but it did, apparently. I've been wanting to write for days, but I have so many things to post about. I have three other posts in drafts right now, if that's any clue as to how scatterbrained I've been as of late.

Thing 1: The Avengers. Fairly amazing movie, if you ask me. My mom and I went to see it on Monday, and I've decided something: I have to have one of those lovely, enormous, flying, armored creatures that wiggle.

Thing 2: Because I turned eighteen, my license expired, and I got it renewed on Monday. My mom and I dove into the office twenty minutes before they closed, and an officer asked what we needed assistance with. I told him I needed my driver license renewed, and he blinked at me and asked, "And how old are you?" After waiting in line for fifteen minutes, staring at the blue dot, and getting the worst picture west of the Mississippi, I was a licensed driver again.


Thing 3: Papa and I went to Yorktown earlier today. The thundering sky exploded in pieces, but no rain fell. A perfect day to go on a drive and find some back roads, if you ask me. We went and drove by buildings that looked like they were put together in the 40s. It makes you wonder, at least it did me, what happened when they weren't abandoned. When people still came to work there every morning, and their voices echoed in through the now darkened rooms. For some reason, that makes me want to write a song.


-Jessie Suzanne

the story of the false eyelashes

Listening to: Pressing Flowers by The Civil Wars

My baby puppy sleepin'... :)

Just got home from our second-to-last dress rehearsal. I love putting on performances so much. I'm still going to keep coming to see them after I graduate...which is in less than two weeks. And my birthday is in four days! I'm going to be eighteen! Bwahaha.

Random stuff that's happened:

• I got an obsession with The Civil Wars.
• I face-planted the ground because I wasn't wearing heels. 'Cause I'm just that graceful.
• I curtsied and fell down. I'm playing a queen so I was hoping to be all graceful for once...*cough*
• I saw at least twenty boys wearing makeup for said play.
• I wore false eyelashes for the first time. It was such a memorable experience...I got my eyelid glued open.

*** THE ACCOUNT OF THE FALSE EYELASHES***

Anna and I were sitting in the darkened backstage hallway waiting for our play to start. I hate how everything is so hilarious when you're supposed to be completely silent.

Anna: I have false eyelashes you can use.

Me: Really? Sure. Lets go to the ladies room where there's a mirror.

Anna: *prepares fake eyelashes* Nah, we can do it here. Hold still!

Me: *blink*

Anna: STOP BLINKING!

Me: ....*blink*

Anna: *laughs*

Me: *laughs with a strip of eyelashes adhered just under eyebrow*

Anna: Hold still! *glues eyelid open* Okay, I fixed it!

Me: ANNA!! I CAN'T CLOSE MY EYE.

Anna: They look pretty...

***

I just now peeled them off, and the whole thing looked bizarre. I'm tired now, so I'm gonna go study for the Faith Bible Institute exam that's coming up...very soon...

Jessie Suzanne

things i've learned

Listening to: May It Be by Enya {Lord of the Rings soundtrack}

Quote love: "Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers, and are famous preservers of good looks." -Charles Dickens

Random pictures from my phone:

bwahahaha...

I really, really love this.

chug cinnamon tea and you'll stay awake to study // stop whatever you're doing and listen when you hear thunder // it's fun to dance with no music in an empty rodeo arena // when in class, doodle all over the page // i really love small towns // making jewelry is an epic pastime // turquoise-painted fingernails are always a good idea // watch really old movies whenever you get the chance // it's a really awkward moment when you stop at a green light // leather scented candles are the best // i don't care if i can't go to Narnia, i still want to // buy colored fineliners and use them whenever you get the chance // turn the radio up and belt it out when they're playing your favorite song (it always sounds better on the radio, after all)

it's one o'clock in the morning.

Listening to: Daughter's Lament by The Carolina Chocolate Drops

"Practice as if you are the worst, perform as if you are the best." -Unknown

Isn't it odd how we can tie memories to things? It's like a small shred of your mind wraps the object in a permanent hug, and even if you try, you can't release it. I was packing up books (millions and millions, it seems), and I found a small cardboard box with flowers on it. I opened it and a blue ribbon flung itself out, along with a red ribbon. I picked up the blue one from the floor. I had completely forgotten about those.

Best of Show. 

And the red one.

Second Place.

I remember opening the door and walking slowly across the room, looking at the hundreds of paintings turning the walls into a map of the world. My mom, dressed in her Sunday best, walked up and gave me a hug.


"Congratulations," she whispered.

I had no idea what she meant. I walked further into the room with a ceiling that dripped multiple ceiling fans. I went to Papa and he smiled at me.

"I'm proud of you," he said.

My grandmother came up behind me, smelling of flowers and joy and love and hugs. Just so you know, a grandmother doesn't have to be related to you to be your grandmother. Remember that.

We went to the back of the room. Under a ceiling fan that twirled and spiraled dangerously, a tree-lined lake clung inside a photograph on the wall. And a frilly blue ribbon was wedged on the corner of the wood.

Best of Show.

The Lord let me capture His artwork, and He blessed me by letting me get my first Best of Show. It's not like it was a nationwide exhibit, but for the three days it lasted, everyone knew my name because of Him.


Jessie Suzanne

an entire post of rambling.

Listening to: Forever and Ever, Amen by Randy Travis

Best excerpt: "'Child,' she said placing her head to mine and her callused fingers on my cheek, 'you can whip it and beat it senseless, you can drag it through the streets and spit on it, you can even dangle it from a tree, drive spikes through it, and drain the last breath from it, but in the end, no matter what you do, and no matter how hard you try to kill it, love wins.' -Wrapped in Rain by Charles Martin

Yesterday I happened upon the Jung Typology Test (literally...I clicked on a link from a link from a link). And because I'm me and I'm freakishly amused by things like this, I kinda had to take it. Bwahahaha.

Evidently I have the same personality as George Washington, Queen Elizabeth II, and Eeyore. I don't know where Eeyore came from...I'm generally an optimistic person. *cough* For the most part.

I got ISTJ. (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging)

"ISTJs are responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. ISTJs care deeply for those closest to them. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun - especially at family or work-related gatherings." -via

"ISTJs are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when the second parties don't keep their commitments. But they usually keep their feelings to themselves unless they are asked. And when asked, they don't mince words. Truth wins out over tact."

"We've always done it this way," is often reason enough for many ISTJs." -via

"Responsible, planner, private, loner tendencies, perfectionist, organized, detail oriented, would rather be friendless than jobless, realistic, observer, clean, focused, punctual, private, does not appreciate strangeness, not spontaneous, follows the rules, dutiful, avoids mistakes, conventional, likes solitude, insensitive to the hardships of others, prepared, thinks rules are important, cautious, security seeking, prepares for worst case scenarios, logical, analytical, does not accept apologies easily, hard working." -via

The people who don't know me think I'm shy and quiet, and the people who do know me wish I was. *grins madly* So I'm a really happy introvert? Take it here and tell me what you get! Pleaaase?

--------------

 ***HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY / RANDOM STORY***

I was walking down the driveway just after my dad left, around eight o'clock. Under a brown and orange sky, I went to the road to get the mail and nearly died of happiness due to a letter from a really sweet man. I began walking back and I heard a rustling beneath a small mound of oak leaves, and because I'm me, I may or may not have dove through the bushes to see what it was. It could've been a rattler, but anyways. Ahem.

I knelt next to the mound, and realized that it was not rustling, but chewing. The leaves weren't moving, though whatever was underneath them was enthusiastically chewing and crunching (with the occasional smack). After about three minutes of listening to nom nom nom, it stopped. I honestly have no idea what it was or what it was eating, but it sounded so cute! I'm guessing it was a baby rabbit or something.

***BEAUTY***

He kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

I could never think of a sweeter, more truthful way to say that someone died.

-Jessie Suzanne

hello, saturday | a post with a weird picture at the end.

Listening to: Small Town Southern Man by Alan Jackson

Quote love: "Never miss a good chance to shut up." -Will Rogers

Reading: White by Ted Dekker

Today was the kind of day where one grabs a book, a cat, and a cup of coffee and goes outside to sit in the sun. I did that, actually. Papa's not feeling well, so we spent the morning watching old western movies. Later I went to the kitchen and concocted a loaf of banana bread. After that I went to my room, opened the window and drew in a notebook while the breeze and music made my room airborne.

Most of the cattle across the road were irritated about something, and they spent a good while voicing their irritation. So...they were the background music to the afternoon. Today was one of those days where the sky is clear, smeared, and frosty; and the sun was streaming down the trees in that dusty, South Texas kind of way. The air was cool, but the sun was warm. It made me feel bad for being inside, so I found my phone to take pictures and followed the animals around the yard yelling "STAY STILL PLEEEAASE?" Avril emerged from the woods and Daisy kind of lost it. So she was chasing the cat all around the trees.

This bench originally had the Texas flag painted on it, but most of it's been chipped off over the years. I love it even though it's falling apart and not safe to sit on. Heh. It's gonna be my project this summer, I think.

Aside from my dad not feeling well, it was a good day. How's your weekend coming?

-Jessie Suzanne

i heard that your dreams came true.

Listening to: Someone Like You by Adele (new favorite song. I like love her voice...)
Lyric love: Old friend, why are you so shy?
                  Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
                  I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited,
                  But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
                  I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
                  That for me, it isn't over.

I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now;
I heard that your dreams came true.

<3
Jessie Suzanne

a very long post and a picture.

Listening to: Finally Home by MercyMe

Lyric love: "There's so much I want to say; so much I want you to know, when I finally make it home. Then I'll gaze upon the throne of the King, frozen in my steps. And all the questions that I swore I would ask, words just won't come yet. I'm so amazed at what I've seen, so much more than this old mind can hold."

Tuesday, December 27th 2011 -  8:01 AM
I woke up at eight o'clock to a phone call, which I ignored by pushing the phone to the floor. Literally ten seconds later I hear my mom's phone ring across the house, and I sat up knowing why everyone was calling, and that I was wrong to ignore my phone. My great aunt had died about fifteen minutes earlier. I changed clothes and grabbed my dad's guitar. I went into the woods, sat on a fallen tree, and played until the sun was high and I couldn't feel the chill of the wind.

That's all I remember of that day.

Wednesday, December 28th 2011
I went with my dad to JC Penney to return some clothes he had gotten for Christmas, and I spent about forty-five minutes walking around Sephora. The people there probably thought I was about to rob the place by the way I was circling Philosophy like a vulture. In the end, I left with lipstick and the perfume I plan to grow old with.

Later that night, I went to church. Afterward, since I had time to kill before I picked up my mom from work, I went to Chick-fil-A (thirty minutes before they closed) and ate there, just me and The Hunger Games. It was nice and quiet and peaceful. I've never gone to a restaurant by myself before. After that, I went to Walgreens, then pulled into an empty parking lot by a busy highway and cried. It was nice watching the cars go by; like sitting on the bank of a river. The lights were huge and floating and broken on the damp highway, and it seemed so nice.

Then I crossed the highway to Walgreens again, got a notebook and filled the first four pages with words. After that, I drove across town and sat in the parking lot of my mom's workplace and listened to Lady Antebellum. We went to iHOP after that, then went home.

Thursday, December 29th 2011 - 9:20 AM
We were under an overpass on the way to the funeral home, and my mom got a voicemail that my deceased aunt's daughter had gone into labor three months early. She had seen her mother's obituary in the newspaper and gone into premature labor. The train went by, and I watched the wheels against the rails, on and on, and I learned how they were assembled.

For some unexplainable reason, watching the train slip through the morning sunlight, I felt old. I don't really mean physically old, just old. It's how you'd feel waking up from a dream where you lived until you were forty, only to sit up and realize you're not even eighteen. It feels like having more memories than time for them to have happened.

When we got to the funeral home, we mingled. My great uncle walked up to me and stated, "Jessie Suzanne, I've been watching you, and your face has the perfect bone structure so you could be one of those Castilian dancers in Spain." I had no idea what to make of that... o.O

After a reasonable amount of time, we left. (Happy New Year, by the way...it's now 2012.) After we left, we went straight to the hospital. We walked in, and the nurses were preparing for the delivery. We took her two daughters and son and left again, with parting commands of, "Don't tell anyone about the labor!"

My sweet baby cousin!

About thirty minutes later, in a parking lot, my mom informed the kids that they had a new baby brother, Elijah Benjamin Blair, weighing one pound and eleven ounces. He was flown to another hospital, and as of now he's doing well, though I know his family would appreciate your prayers.


December 30th 2011 - 10:00 AM
We pulled into the funeral home, supposedly on time. We walked in and sat down in the back, just before we were told to get up and go pay our respects. We walked down the isle, talked to my cousins for about two seconds, and walked out the back door (like, five feet from my car). Just then, my mom noticed that we were at the very back of the funeral procession (the end always gets lost). So, discreetly, we got out and rearranged some orange cones so we were now in the middle of the procession. Driving in a funeral procession is stressful. After almost hitting the Avalon in front of me and almost being hit by the Escalade behind me, we showed up at the church.

***NOTE***

 I think I was somewhat of a disruption to the whole event. 

Here follows the awkward/embarrassing moments of December 30th, 2011.

So, towards the middle of the service, I needed to take my inhaler so I got up and walked back down the isle to the entrance. On the way back, I had an ungraceful moment and tripped in the heels I was wearing. About five minutes later, my mom told me to wait in the foyer because they were going to have incense and it was strong. Went back to the entrance. They had left the double doors open, so the whole hallway was freezing.

I checked my phone, went into the ladies room and fixed my makeup, checked my phone again, yanked open the door and nearly body slammed the bishop (I missed him by two feet). Apparently, while I was in the other room, they had begun to take the casket back to the hearse outside. Someone gave me a disapproving look, and I ran across the hall to the crying room. I walked in and suddenly had the feeling that I was in a fishbowl due to the glass walls, and I stepped backwards into the hall and almost got ran over by the casket. Ever felt like curling up and dying? Yeah. So I walked into the ladies room and couldn't breathe because there were two babies getting changed. I walked back out and got stepped on by distant cousins.

Somehow, my mom and I met at my car and went on to the grave site. 

After the burial, a few friends and family were to meet at a restaurant for the reception, which was by invitation only. For some reason, though, everyone from the funeral followed us there. The restaurant owner was so nice as to close his entire restaurant for the day, so we could hold the reception there. So when the workers were under the impression that we would be there at 1:00, we had a slight problem when we showed up at 11:50. But, this served well, because the masses of people and cars waiting outside decided they didn't want to wait an hour to eat, and went somewhere else. Not that we didn't want them to eat with us, but not all of us could fit in the tiny restaurant. It wasn't an hour, after all, but instead around thirty minutes. It was very interesting, to say the least, and I found a cousin of mine, Halie, who also carries books in her purse. That's awesome...

We went to the hospital to see how everyone was, then ran a few errands and went home. It was an interesting week to be sure; full of worry, family, happiness, concern, family, stress, some tears, family, embarrassment, and the kind of laughter that makes your stomach hurt.

Praise be to the Lord, who gives and takes away.

-Suzanne